dude i'm inner monologue high
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
