just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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