and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
