He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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