I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
