hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My hand turned me down
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
