I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
