I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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