Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
