He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
