So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
