so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
