i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Is it penis luge time yet?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
