i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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