areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
