normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
