Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
