Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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