I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my sisters under your porch take her home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
