Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
