i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm having to shit out rocks
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
