Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
