I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
