I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
