Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
