I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
