I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
