I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
