i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
