were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
