Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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