I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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