Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
