Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
