rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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