I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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