Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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