:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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