a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
