Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
