i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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