I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
