The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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