so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My ATM looks so different sober.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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