Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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