1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
