every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
