Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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