Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
