i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
