i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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