she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
