We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
