There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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