so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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