I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
