it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
