i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
