Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
