I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can I color on your dick again?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We are all done wearing pants today
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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