It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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