I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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