I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
being pregnant is like rehab
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
